Strength to Make it Through
by brokenrussiancrawl
Summary: One stentence was all it took to change Clare Edwards life forever. How will she be able to tell the people she loves what is going on? Will a new friend encourage her to reach out and find the strength to make it through?
1. Chapter 1

**Fact about me, Brokenrussiancrawl: I love Clare! She is my favorite character on the show and I love her friendship with Alli and her relationship with Eli. This is my second Degrassi fanfiction and I hope you like it.**

**Chapter 1 of Strength to Make it Through**

I looked up at my doctor with tears in my eyes, refusing to believe what she had just said. It couldn't be happening to me. What had I ever done to deserve this? Maybe I was just dreaming and I was stuck in a nightmare; I had left the hospital with my dad and I had fallen asleep while doing homework like I am sometimes known to do. My phone call with Alli had worn me out like it usually does and I am still blissfully unaware of this nightmare. But the look on Dr. Lee's face was enough to convince me that this was not a dream and I really was hearing this horrible life-changing news.

Dr. Lee leaned forward and squeezed my upper arm in fake reassurance. "We are going to do everything we can to help you," she smiled at me, but I could tell from the look in her eyes that this was not good.

I couldn't look at her anymore, not with her pitying eyes and forced smiles and meaningless words or encouragement. Instead, I stared at the blank white wall in front of me as the stinging in my eyes grew and my vision turned to a blur. I took a deep calming breath and could practically taste the sterilizer that was used to clean the room. I had always hated hospitals; the doctors in them rarely ever have good news for patients. I guess some could say that I was lucky because I hardly ever needed to go to the hospital. Mostly when I came to them was for others like my sister Darcy after she tried to kill herself, my boyfriend Eli when he crashed his hearse, my best friend Adam the night he got shot, and sometimes I would come here when my friend Jenna needed a checkup when she was pregnant or when my best friend Alli had a pregnancy scare and didn't want to come alone. I was always the supporter, never the patient.

Yet here I am, sitting in a hospital room with the worst news I could have ever heard on instant replay in my mind. I still couldn't really process what my doctor that I had since the age of eight just told me. I was only sixteen! This wasn't supposed to happen to me yet. Or ever!

The tears began to roll down my cheeks as the news started to penetrate my doubtful brain. Dr. Lee stood up from her chair and moved to sit beside me in one fluid motion. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and sighed, "I'm so sorry Clare." This didn't make me feel any better, but I leaned into her and continued to sob, not caring that she obviously had other patients or that my dad was waiting in the waiting room for me to join him, or that Alli was sitting at home staring at the phone waiting for my phone call. I just continued to cry.

Alli was the one who convinced me that it was a good idea to go to the hospital. I had been having headaches a lot lately and she was beginning to get worried. At first I brushed it off thinking that it was nothing. Then the other day, I stood in my English class giving my presentation and began to get dizzy. It felt like my skull was pounding, like someone was banging a hammer against the inside of my skull trying to get out. Then I felt something tickle my upper lip. I brought my hand up and whipped whatever it was away and my eyes widened when I pulled back as I saw that it was blood. I could hear people calling my name in shock as I lost my balance, but their voice was a distant echo, and tried to catch myself on the desk beside me before I fell. I missed the desks edge and tumbled to the floor.

I woke up later with a frantic Alli yelling at the school nurse that she was not leaving until she knew what had happened to me. I opened my eyes and came face to face with a concerned Eli. That was the day that Alli told me to go to the hospital and I grudgingly agreed. Not because I was really concerned, but because she had Eli and Adam on her side and they were almost as relentless as Alli was about the doctor visit. So I went to the doctors, they gave me a CAT scan and said that they will call me to let me know when my results were in again. When I got home, Alli had blown up my phone and nearly broke my eardrum with her screeching. Never had I imagined that I would be sitting in a hospital room bawling my eyes out.

After a few minutes Dr. Lee pulled back and said softly, "We need to talk about your options, Clare." I nodded and wiped my face clean with my hands and looked at her to begin. I zoned out as she went into detail about what was going to happen next. All I could focus on were certain sentences, key words and phrases that broke my heart and tears began fall again. I shook my head and hick-upped 'no' over and over as my body began to shake uncontrollably as heart-wrenching sobs escaped me.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them as if they were a lifeline. My face was buried in my knees and I didn't look up as the door to my room was opened and them closed softly, I just continued to cry; a headache began to from behind my eyes but I didn't care. I just cried harder as it occurred to me that this all started because of a stupid headache.

I didn't know how long I sat there crying before I felt familiar arms wrap around me. I didn't fight them, these were the arms that would hold when I had a bad dream, that would give me a hug before I went to school every morning until I was fifteen, these were the arms that always filled me with love and strength. I needed them now more than I ever needed them before-not even when Darcy left for Kenya did I need them this much.

"It's okay Clare, we're going to get thru this together." My dad used his chin to tuck my head into his neck and he began to rock back and forth-a comforting motion he's used since I was a baby.

"I just can't believe it!" I cried out loud for the first time since my doctor told me the news.

My dad held me tighter to his chest, "I know Clarebear, me either." I felt a tear hit the side of my face and knew that he was crying too. It almost broke my heart to know that my dad was crying because of me.

"Why did this have to happen?" I whispered to him.

Dad was silent for a moment and I thought that he would answer, but then I heard him mumble, "I don't know honey, but we're going to fight this."

I nodded my head sadly and sniffled before I asked, "What are we going to tell mom?" How was I going to tell Eli and Alli, I added softly.

"We'll figure that out in the morning, right now we are going to go home and get some sleep okay." I nodded and let him help me up. He grabbed my bag and with his arm still around me so I could lean into him, walked us out of the room and down the hallway. We got to the front desk and Dr. Lee called out for my dad to stop. She rushed over to us and gave my dad a pamphlet for him and I to look at so we can have a better understand of what is happening to my brain and what is going to happen next. She also handed him a piece of paper so that he could get a prescription filled for me. 'Great', I thought 'now I have to be all doped up'.

Just an hour ago I walked into the hospital complaining about a headache, and now I walk out with a death sentence.

**I am not sure how this chapter went. When I played it in my head it went a little differently, but in the end, I like it.**

**Please let me know what you think and I will update as soon as I can.**

**P.S. Do you like the title of the story?**

**REVIEWS ARE OUR FRIENDSSSS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two of Strength to Make it Through**

I couldn't do it. I tried, I really did, but the look on my mom's face made me back out. She was so concerned and she kept looking at me with her big brown eyes, rubbing her hand soothingly up and down my upper arm. It was that moment, when I had to tell her that her what had transpired at the doctor's office, that I was reminded of everything that she-WE-had already been through together; my sister being raped and then trying to kill herself, Darcy moving to Kenya and never coming back, the divorce, her getting remarried. And now was her chance to be happy. I couldn't take that from her. So I smiled and told her that it was nothing to be concerned about right now. They only ran some more tests.

She was so relieved that she decided to take us out to dinner. She didn't flat out say that it was because the doctors hadn't sent me home with bad news, but I knew that was why she did it.

If only she REALLY knew what was wrong.

I couldn't help but think that if my dad had been there to help me tell her, I wouldn't have backed out. My dad used the line that he and my mom couldn't even be in the same room without spewing insults at each other. In my head I had translated that to 'I'm too much of a coward to tell her, you're on your own.'

"Clare, we're here." I looked up in shock as Glen said my name. He has been very nice to me through out everything and I've only been mildly polite to him. It made me feel a little bit guilty. It wasn't his fault that I was always mad. But he was an easy outlet for the pain.

I smiled at him as I reached over to grab my bag, "Thank you for the ride, Glen." He and Jake both turned to look at me with shocked expressions at the sincerity in my voice. It even took me by surprise too. It was time I stopped holding my grudge. With another smile, I got out of the car and it fell just as fast as it grew when I saw Alli and Eli waiting for me at the top of the stairs.

She and Eli were obviously waiting for me. Alli was bouncing on the balls of her feet in impatience and Eli looked on in annoyance as she talked on and on about something I couldn't here. Alli was the first to spot me.

"Clare!" Alli yelled as she raced down the steps towards me. I rolled my eyes. Like I couldn't see her.

I nearly laughed as she shoved two huge Hockey players out of her way in her haste to get to me. One dropped their books while the other lost his balance and fell down a few steps. They both glared at Alli, who didn't even spare them a glace as she continued her sprint towards me in four inch heels. The Hockey players yelled after her but she didn't stop to even glance at them.

"Clare," Alli screeched as she finally reached me. Eli made it to me a second later; he had to wait for the Hockey jocks to get out of her way. "What…happened…at the…doctors?" every word was interrupted by her gasping for oxygen.

I looked down at my shoes trying to figure out how to tell them. Eli stepped forward and gently tilted my chin up to look at him with his hand. "What's wrong?"

Shock ran through my body as his eyes connected with mine and I felt the butterflies move in my belly like they usually did when he was around me. His eyes were pleading with me, trying to get me to tell him what was going on. And I wanted to. But, it would hurt him and Alli. It would hurt me!

I shook my head and smiled at them. "It was nothing. Dr. Lee only wanted me to take a few more tests and then they should be able to tell what is going on."

Their relief was just like my mom's was. They had been so concerned and probably expecting the worst. I mentally laughed. If only they knew the truth.

"Does this mean that something really could be wrong though?" Ugh, Alli, why do you have to be so smart?

"They are just taking precaution," I soothed when worry over took their expressions again.

"Well, I hope that there is nothing wrong." Eli said, lacing his fingers with mine. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." The sincerity in his voice and the honesty I saw in his eyes nearly broke my heart. How could I keep this from him much longer?

"Same here," Alli piped up from behind him and moved to stand next to me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. "I can't lose my best friend."

"I'm going to be just fine." No, I'm not. I'm lying to you so you don't have to worry, but at the same time, I am dying on the inside.

"Good," they said in unison. I laughed softly just as the bell rang. We moved up the stairs together and I asked, "So, we're meeting at lunch?"

"I can't." Alli said with a sad look. "I just got my samples in and I can't wait to test them."

"And I have called a last minute lunch rehearsal that Dave and Adam have to attend. Sorry," he said as he kissed my temple. "You can come too."

I laughed and shoved him away jokingly, "Yeah, I just love watching bossing people around and being in the way of everything." I had tried to spend time with them there, but I just keep getting in everyone's way. It made me remember when I was in grade nine and I had worked on the school play. I only didn't the props, but I won an award for them. This year, Imogene did the set, and it was beautiful.

"You can never get in the way," Eli replied as he leaned down to kiss me.

"You guys flirt weird," Alli said as she walked away. Eli and I laughed as we watched her go.

"Are you sure you don't want to join me and the guys for practice?" Eli looked down at me with concern. He'd been very concerned ever since I had been getting headaches. They freaked him out and made him never want to let me out of his sight. This time, I liked his protectiveness. It made me feel loved instead of claustrophobic.

"I'm sure." I leaned forward and gave him a kiss. "You better go before you're late for class."

Eli nodded and leaned down to kiss me before running off.

….

…..

…

Eating alone is never fun. I had thought that I would be able to eat with K.C. or Jake, but they were busy too. It was strange sitting with so many people this year. When I first got to Degrassi I sat with Alli, Connor and K.C., by the end of the year we also had Jenna, Wesley and Dave. But when Jenna and K.C. started dating, our group spilt. Grade ten I sat with Eli and Adam for most of the year. This year I sat with Alli, Adam, Eli, K.C., Connor, Jenna, Dave, Jake, and sometimes Katie. My table was always full.

Except for today.

Jenna had left to go and help Becky Baker set up a booth. K.C. and Connor were practicing for their Bright Stars group and Jake was working on his garden with Katie.

So that meant that I was alone today. I didn't like the feeling of being alone, not after the doctor's visit. Tears began to form in my eyes as I watched people laugh with their friends and joke around with each other. Soon I wouldn't be able to do that with my friends. I wouldn't be able to laugh with them over stupid stuff. I wouldn't be able to make joke about light things. The person I am right now, the Clare Edwards that everyone knew would be changed forever.

The worst part is, is that if I don't open up to my friends, no one will understand why I'm changing, why I will eventually stop coming to school. If they know, they will be able to support me like I need them too.

I couldn't sit here anymore, alone and about to cry.

I got up, grabbed my bag and made a dash to the doors. Just as I turned to corner I ran into a solid body and felt myself begin to fall. I braced myself for the impact, but it didn't come. Instead, I was yanked by my upper arms and placed firmly on my feet.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going," Dallas snapped at me.

I looked up at him with a glare before I nodded. He was right, I should have been watching. Yet, he could have put it nicely. "Sorry," I mumbled, looking at my feet.

Dallas huffed, "What's wrong now?" He asked annoyed.

"Is it any of your business?" I snapped at him. He raised an eye brow and then shrugged.

"You have a tendency to dump your problems on me, remember?" Dallas stepped towards me with a knowing look.

I blushed and backed away, "I'm sorry about that too. And the article; I took my anger for Asher out on you and the team and it wasn't right. I am truly sorry about that."

I don't know if it was the honesty of my words or that I was standing before him looking like a seven year old girl who just watched her dog die, but Dallas sighed and then nodded. "You're forgiven. I can't say the same for your boyfriend though."

I rolled my eyes but smiled, "It's because he beat you up right?"

"He did not beat me up!" I laughed.

"You walked-I'm sorry, limped-away with a bloody nose, while Eli only had a few scrapes on his hand." I folded my arms across my chest and jutted out my chin.

"Yeah, I guess Theatre Geek knows how to throw a punch." A smiled cockily at him and was about to make a biting retort when he cut me off, "From what I heard, you and Dragon Tattoo know how to throw a punch too; took down one of my guys."

"Is it just me, or do you sound impressed?" I asked in fake shock.

Dallas shrugged, "I just thought that Saint Clare didn't know how to hurt anyone."

I laughed at that, "You would be surprised at what I can do."

Dallas laughed too, "I've heard some stories." I rolled my eyes and he just laughed harder. "I'm gonna go before I miss my time to eat."

"You mean stuff your face?" I asked as he moved towards the door, "I've seen you guys eat. I honestly don't know where you put it all."

"Coach gives us one hell of a work out." And then he disappeared in the doors and again, I was alone.

Was I becoming one of those girls who were dependent on others to make them happy? I remember the time when I actually liked being alone. I didn't mind the quiet and being alone with my thoughts. But after the doctor's visit, I found that my mind is no longer a safe place.

Which is why I now have tears in my eyes and I was now running down the hallway looking for a place to cry without being seen.

The girl's bathroom was too busy during lunch.

An empty classroom sounds best, but right now I could get caught by either a teacher or one of the security officers roaming around.

Ugh, why can't this school go back to how it was in the ninth grade?

I saw the seat under the stairwell and looked around quickly before I sat down and let myself cry.

The worst part was that I didn't even know what I was crying about, but it felt good to let it all out. I guess I was crying for the life I would never have again because know everything would be different, I could be different. Why didn't things have to change? Why couldn't things just remain simple? I suppose it is true what everyone says, life continues to get worse as you grow up.

I always thought that the people who said that were exaggerating, it turns out they weren't. I've experienced too much bad stuff to not believe them by now.

"Are…you okay?" a voice asked, interrupting my misery.

I looked up and saw Bianca standing nervously beside me. She looked uncomfortable, but worried at the same time.

"I'm fine," I said as I wiped my face clean of tears.

"Yeah, because it's every day that I catch someone crying under the stairwell," she rolled her eyes. "Unless you count the girls bathroom, because I just caught a guy crying in there the other day." She shrugged like it was no big deal. Like it was an everyday occurrence to catch a boy crying in the girl's bathroom.

I looked up at her confused. She rolled her eyes and plopped down next to me. I scooted over to make room for her or else she would sit half on top of me. I had no idea why Bianca was sitting next to me, but I couldn't really get up and leave since she was on the outside and I was crammed up against the wall.

"This guy was having a melt down because people were picking on him. I told him to hang out with people he likes because high school sucks." She shrugged again.

"That's…actually nice of you Bianca." I said in surprise.

She rolled her eyes. "I can be nice you know."

I looked down blushing, "Sorry."

"Whatever. You want to talk about why you were crying?" She changed the subject as she sent me a piercing look.

I sighed and looked away. Maybe she would make me feel batter. It couldn't hurt right?

"Are you afraid of anything?" I asked tentatively. I knew by the look on her face that I shocked her.

She was quiet for a moment before she answered me. "I'm afraid of bugs."

I laughed. Bianca, one of the toughest girls I know, was scared of bugs. It was too funny. Tears started to run down my cheeks and there was a slight stich in my side.

"Really, it's not that funny." But she was chuckling too.

We both sat there laughing until I started to cry. I didn't know when the tears of laughter turned to tears of sadness, but I was on the verge of sobbing. Bianca stopped laughing and wrapped an arm around me. "Whatever it is Clare, it can't be so bad."

That was all it took. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I NEEDED to tell someone. There was a voice in the back of my head telling me not to tell Bianca of all people; it was probably right, but I didn't care. I needed a release, and unlike the Asher situation where I drank, this was a much healthier choice.

I pulled back from her and looked her right in the eyes. I watched as Bianca looked back and swallowed nervously.

"I have cancer." She gasped in shock. Maybe this was too much for her? I mentally rolled my eyes, this was Bianca, she can handle it. "It's a brain tumor, and unless I get surgery-where one wrong slip can wipe my memory clean forever or one wrong nick and I'm a vegetable for the rest of my life-I will slowly, but steadily, lose my memory. In fact," I said with fake cheer. "I could die."

**What did you think?**

**I like Dallas, and I will not be making him the bad guy in this story.**

**But I promise there will be a bad guy…or girl. Have not decided who it will be, but I know who I am leaning too.**

**Leave a review please.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three of Strength to Make it Through**

It was more that amusing to watch Bianca open and close her mouth like a fish out of water. She didn't know what to say. When I first heard that I had cancer, I was in the same kind of shock. But shock soon turned into denial and then to tears. I still haven't gotten past tears yet. Bianca suddenly snapped her mouth shut and stared at me. I knew that she was trying to think of something to say, but there was nothing she could say that would make this better. There was nothing she could say that would change the way I felt, what is going to happen to me.

"Do Goth Boy and your Backwoods know yet?"

I shook my head no. I watched her nod like she understood, but I wasn't convinced that she did. At least, not fully. I felt the need to explain, "Alli would probably cry herself to death while Eli went crazy." Okay, I knew I wasn't being fair in the last statement. It was the same one I used to not have to tell Eli about Asher. At the time I really was concerned that he would go crazy. But now, it was just an excuse that I had not to tell. "No one but you knows so far." I look down at my hands. I had been biting my nails all day out of anxiety. I used to bite them when I was little, but Darcy got into the habit of slapping me every time I went to bite them. Now that she wasn't here to stop me, I had destroyed them.

"So what did your doctor say?" Bianca asked after a tense moment of silence.

I took a deep breath, "Dr. Lee told me that she would make a few calls and see if she can get a friend of hers to come in from Seattle Washington. I guess he's the best at what he does," I shrugged.

"Well that's good," Bianca forced a smile. "She is trying to help you. Get you the help you need."

I laughed bitterly, "My tumor is the size of a peanut right now, but it is growing. If this doctor cannot reach it, the tumor will continue to grow until it takes over the parts in my brain where I hold memories. I will go through chemo therapy and…" I trailed off as I raised my hand and ran my fingers through my copper curls. "I'm going to lose my hair." Other than my eyes, my hair is the only part of my body that I liked.

Bianca took the hand that I just ran through my hair, a look of understanding in her eyes. "I would hate to lose my hair," She admitted with a smirk.

I needed to change the subject, "I have to fill out a prescription today. The doctor told me to do it as soon as possible, but I still haven't told my mom, so I couldn't ask her to take me. I was going to ask Eli to take me to the Pharmacy today so I could pick up my 'feminine hygiene' products. But he has to run a practice for the play, Jake is doing a job with his dad, and my dad won't answer my phone calls."

Bianca was silent for a moment and I was sure that she was going to leave until I heard, "I could take you." her suggestion shocked us both.

"No, I'll find a different way there. Thank you for the offer." I said snippily.

Bianca rolled her eyes, "Look, I don't have anything to do after school today, which means I can take you. It's honestly no big deal."

"Look, I don't need your pity," I glared at her.

She rolled her eyes and huffed in annoyance. "It's not pity…well not really." She ran a hand through her hair. "I'm trying to be nice. I'm the only one who knows your secret and you need help. AND, oh look," she made a huge production of looking around sarcastically." I'm the only one here who can as is willing to help you. So I'll meet you outside after school. I'll be waiting in my car." She grabbed her bag and stood. "The odds may not be in you favor, but people don't call you Saint Clare for nothing. You're going to get through this. And I will be there to help you. As well as Goth Boy and Backwoods once you finally tell them."

I stared at her wondering if this is the same girl who stole my best friend's boyfriend last year. I wondered where the girl went that told the whole school that Adam was transgendered and made his life hell ever since. She was the reason Adam was thrown through a window, she was the reason he had to use a different bathroom. But as I looked at her, I couldn't see the girl that I had held a grudge against for the past year and a half. This girl standing before me was different. Maybe what happened with Vince and the Prom shooting really did change her as it changed Drew and Adam.

I shook my head in an attempt to clear it. "Why do you want to help me?" I thought that was a fair question.

Bianca looked at me for a second and then shrugged, "I don't like to see good people hurt. And from what I have seen and what I have heard about you, Clare, you are a good person. You are someone who is always there for people when they need someone and I have this gnawing feeling inside me that you would help me if I were in your situation."

Tears came to my eyes again. Why was she making me out to be some kind of Saint? I was just trying to be a good friend. Everything that I have done is exactly what a good Christian would do. But I had to admit, her words warmed me. They made me feel better about myself and if I'm being honest, they made me feel hope.

I smiled at her, "I have to talk with a teacher after my last period about an assignment I missed when I was in the nurse's office last week. Then I'll meet you at your car."

Bianca nodded curtly, "Just don't like, die when you're near me okay?" I could tell by her teasing smile that she was just joking so I nodded and played along.

"I'll try, but I won't be able to make any promises."

She huffed and crossed her arms, "I guess I'll have to take it." with that she walked away and I was left by myself wondering how I could get though the rest of the day by myself.

**I love comments, and if you leave me more, I'll update another chapter tomorrow. Next one I promise more Eli . If I don't get any reviews, looks like you will be waiting another week for an update .**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four of Strength to Make it Through**

"_Want to meet at the Dot for dinner? –Eli"_

I looked down at Eli's text and bit my lip. Of course I wanted to have dinner with my boyfriend, but I didn't know if I would be able to keep this a secret from him for very long. Yet, it had been such a long time since we had any real time alone together and I missed him. After what happened with Asher and keeping it form Eli, I didn't know how he forgave me. Would he be able to forgive me for this secret also?

"Ugh." I slammed my head against the cars head rest.

"Wow, be careful. You already have one brain problem, you don't need another one." Bianca basically accused me from her seat behind the wheel.

"Sorry," I said softly.

"What is it now," she rolled her eyes again for the sixth time since I go in her car. It was really starting to annoy me. A part of me kept thinking that she was doing it because she knew that it bothered me.

"It's nothing."

"Yeah, sure," Another eye roll. "Just tell me."

"Eli wants to have dinner, but I am horrible at keeping secrets. I might just blurt out that I have cancer to him while eating fries or passing the ketchup."

"Didn't you keep a secret from him for months?" Bianca asked, glancing at me from the driver's seat.

I glared at her, "That was different."

"Yeah, sure." This time I didn't get an eye roll. Instead I got a snort.

"Like you've never lied to a boyfriend," I accused crossing my arms.

I could see that she was about to argue, but she dropped it with a shrug. "Just keep the conversation on the play. You'll have him talking for most of dinner if you ask the right questions. If he runs out of things to say about it, ask how his parents are, if he heard anything new with Adam or Fiona or something like that. Maybe you could talk about a class assignment that you have coming up. Keep that up until you are in the car, then gush about how much fun you had or something you did or saw or read today. Then put the pressure back on him and ask him when you are going to go out again and what you would do on your next date."

I stared at her with my mouth hanging open in awe. "I can tell that you've had some practice in this kind of stuff."

Bianca smirked, "A little."

I laughed and pulled out my phone to send Eli a text saying that I couldn't wait for out date.

"Anyways, do you know what medicine you need to pick up?" I pulled the pink paper out of my pocket and looked at it.

It looked like chicken scratch to me.

We were at a red light and Bianca leaned over to look at it with me. "Ugh, doctors always write like a two year old." I couldn't disagree with that complaint.

When we got to the Pharmacy, I needed to verify that it was really me who was getting the prescription. I guess because my picture ID wasn't enough apparently. The pharmacist asked me all these questions from where I lived, to my age and then my mother's maiden name. In the middle of the interrogation, Bianca walked away from the desk, only to turn and ask me if I wanted something to drink. I told her water would be nice.

By the time I answered all the questions correctly and the pharmacist was happy with the answers, it felt like an hour had passed. I sat in the waiting chairs next to the blood pressure test that I hated. A person sticks their arm into it and it nearly takes the arm off by squeezing it tightly. It was loads of fun.

Bianca sat next to me with h a loud 'plop'. Silently she handed me my water and opened a huge bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. "Want some?" she asked, extending the bag to me.

"Did you pay for them?"

Another eye roll. She pulled out a receipt from her pocket and handed it to me. "And here I thought we had trust," Bianca fake pouted.

I ignored her and ate a few chips while we waited for my medication. There was a silence between Bianca and me but it wasn't uncomfortable. I didn't feel the need to fill the silence with useless conversation. By the time the pharmacist called my name, Bianca and I had eaten half of the bag. It happens when you skip lunch.

"Let me see that," Bianca demanded as soon as we got into the car. I opened the bag and pulled out the pill bottle. She glanced at it and read out loud, "Take four pills a day with food. Next prescription refill is in two weeks." Yay, I thought sarcastically.

"So, you ready for your date?"

Not really. "Of course I am."

For that lie, I got a snort and an eye roll. Big improvement.

….

…

…..

I hate awkward silences. I always feel like the person who needs to make conversation, all the pressure is on me to amuse the other person. Why couldn't this be like the comfortable silence I experienced with Bianca earlier? The worse awkward silence is when you know the person sitting across from you and yet you have nothing to say. Even worse than that is when the person is your boyfriend.

"So," I said with a forced smile. "How was practice?"

Eli took a sip of his iced tea, "It was okay. Tristan keeps refusing to kiss Cave though." Eli rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I can understand where Tristan is coming from. If I were in his position, I wouldn't want to kiss some guy who has a girlfriend."

"When you put it that way, I can hardly argue." Eli said with a Smirk. Man, I had missed his smirk. It seemed like forever since I had seen it. Ever since the Asher thing, Eli hadn't been smirking that much and I didn't realize how much I missed it until this moment, when I finally got to see it again.

Spinner appeared next to us with a note pad in hand and a friendly smile to me.

"Hey Clare, how are you?" Spinner has always been nice to me. He was Darcy's first boyfriend and he was my favorite of her exes. Whenever he came over to our house he would side with me when it came to picking movies to watch or food to order in and what games we were going to play for the night. It would make Darcy mad, but I think that was part of the reason why chose my side.

"I'm good. How have you been?" I smiled at him. This wasn't a forced smile, for Spinner Mason, they were always real.

"I've been good. Emma and I got that new house," He smiled proudly.

"That's great Spin. I'm going that have to come over and see it when you're all done settling in."

Spinner laughed, "That's a given."

I looked at Eli and noticed that he raised his eyebrow and was looking between us in suspicion. "Oh, sorry." I said with a nervous laugh. "Spinner, this is Eli Goldsworthy. He is my boyfriend. Eli, this Gavin Mason, my brother."

Eli seemed shocked at the way I introduced Spin to him, but he recovered quickly to shake Spinners hand when he held it out to him. "So you're the boyfriend." Spinner smirked evilly.

"Yes he is." I cut in quickly when I saw Eli return Spinners smirk. "And we're hungry." I said pointedly.

Spinner looked at me in amusement, "Right. Let me guess, you want the chicken strip wrap?"

I smiled at him brightly, "You know me so well."

Spinner laughed, "I should, I've been cooking for you four the past three years." He turned to Eli, "Do you know what you want?"

"I'll have the BLT." Spinner nodded and walked away. "Your brother," Eli questioned when Spinner was gone.

I smiled at him, "He was my sister's first boyfriend. He was my favorite out of the both of them."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "The little things I guess. He always remembers my birthday. I trust him with my life; probably because he's saved it a few times. He took me out for Halloween when my sister refused, and he always sided with me when we had a movie night at my house."

Eli looked at me shocked, "Saved your life a few times?"

Oh, did I say that out loud? Darn! Well, I can't just NOT tell him after that slip up. I sighed and played with my straw, "I almost got hit by a drunk driver who ran on to the sidewalk, but Spinner pulled me out of the way just in time. Once I went to the Ravine with Alli when we were in grade nine and I called him to walk me home." Eli knew that there was more, but I couldn't tell him the last one. This was a secret I was going to take with me to the grave. It was also the reason I would forever be grateful to Spinner.

"He sounds like a great guy," Eli muttered.

"He is. Not just to me either. He's like that with everyone." Eli only nodded and looked away deep in thought. "Hey," I reached over and placed my hand on top of his. "You have nothing to jealous about."

"I'm not jealous," Eli said with a glare but I saw the relief in his eyes.

I smiled at him, "Sure." Yet on the inside I was shocked. Didn't Eli know that he had nothing to worry about? I only wanted him; no one else. Whenever I look at another guy, I always compare them to Eli. I notice how they are either too talk or too short, that they never have the right eye color, that their smirk is all wrong. They're not Eli, the guy I was madly in love with. He's the only guy I dream about. The only guy I think about, write fanfictions about.

Eli Goldsworthy is my guy. He had absolutely nothing to worry about.

I smiled brightly at him and his face instantly brightened, "I love you."

"I love you too." Eli leaned over the table and I met him half way. Our kiss was chaste, but perfect.

A throat clearing made us pull apart and stop smiling at each other in a goofy way. Spinner smirked at us before setting out plates in front of us. I blushed as he winked at me and Eli laughed.

My phone vibrated and I picked it up.

"_See? Nothing to worry about. –Bianca"_

I smiled and sent a quick reply. _"Yes you were. And thank you for being there for me today. It meant a lot to me. –Clare"_

**Just so you know: I am not throwing Spinner in here for no reason. He's actually going to be a big character in the later chapters.**

**Also, I am going to be putting a little spin on the story and make it TRULY my own. After all, it is a fan-FICTION! **

**I'm already working on the next chapter. But to get it, I need some reviews .**


	5. Chapter 5

**I would like to give a cyber cookie to Crazfilipina for being the first to guess what I am going to be using Spinner for! Congrats!**

**Chapter five of Strength to Make it Through**

I have decided that I am going to tell Alli, Eli and Adam. Today. Before I lose my confidence and chicken out. They deserve to know and the longer I put it off, it is just going to make things worse. I've learned this form experience. Eli will get mad at me for hiding it from him while Alli will cry and then yell at me for not telling her sooner. Adam was the only one I wasn't sure about. He could either be angry at me or he could go the rout of sympathy. Either way, this was going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. Isn't that what addicts go through? Isn't it the first sign to getting clean? You have to admit that you are an addict. I have to admit that I am a cancer patient now.

I tried to brace myself for the moment I told them, brace myself for the anger, the pain, and the fear. Walking up the stairs to Degrassi, I pushed my shoulders back and jutted my chin out, trying to look brave on the outside, while terrified on the inside.

With a deep breath I pushed open the door to Degrassi and noticed that it was a mad house. People were yelling, pushing, running and some were even fighting. I pushed my way through most of the chaos until someone grabbed me from behind. I tried to yank out of the grip, but it tightened and then shoved me forward, into another person. The guy that I was shoved into turned around and looked ready to murder me. I gulped as he stepped towards me. The look in his eyes made me sure that he was going to kill me without hearing my explanation.

"Hey, back off," I heard a voice say from behind me just as an arm was slung over my shoulder. "It was an accident." Dallas told him firmly.

They guy before me looked Dallas up and down as if sizing him up for a fight. Something in Dallas' face must have gotten to the guy because he huffed and shoved people out of his way as he stormed off. I breathed a sigh of relief as I watched him go. "Thanks."

Dallas mumbled something under his breath about always causing fights before he tightened his arm around my shoulders and led me out of the angry mob of people. "What is going on?" I asked once we were safe and out of the way.

Dallas leaned against the wall and shoved his hands into his red hoodie, "Mixed reactions for Becky Bakers new protest."

"What is she protesting?" I wondered what could have possibly caused this kind of reaction for our student body. I had never seen anything like this, although I heard the story about how after J.T. York was killed by a Lakehurst guy and they released the news that they were combining Degrassi with Lakehurst, a bunch of Degrassi students stood up in a cheer tournament and yelled "Go home Lakehurst!" After that, there was a miner confrontation but it didn't last for very long…the principal broke it up. This was on a whole new level.

"She's protesting to get me kicked out of school," a voice said from behind me. I knew before I turned that it was Adam.

"What?" I asked it total shock.

Adam stood in front of me with his usual plaid shirt and baggy jeans. Drew stood beside him looking like he wanted to rip someone's head off. "Becky tried to get me to 'give up' being a guy and when it didn't work, she got mad and now here she is, petitioning to get me out of school."

"She can't do that!" I cried in outrage. After everything Adam had been through last year, he now had to deal with this! I felt tears enter my eyes and looked down. Becky was trying to make it worse. And I thought she was Christian! I thought in accusation.

"She just did," Dallas pointed out. I glared at him through my tears and he held up his hands in fake surrender. "Just saying."

Adam placed his hand on my arm in comfort. He wasn't the one who should be comforting me! I should be comforting him. "It's not right," I whispered.

"I know." Adam said.

I wiped my eyes and looked at him seriously, "You are not going anywhere."

Adam looked at me with sad eyes, "How do you know?"

I never thought it was possible for me to hate someone again, but in that moment, I knew that I hated Becky Baker for what she was putting Adam through. No one deserved to endure everything that he had been through. Anger and stubbornness consumed me, "I won't allow it."

All three boys looked taken aback by the anger in my voice, but I couldn't care less. I marched away from them and elbowed my way into the mob of angry people. It took me a moment to notice that someone had followed me and was helping clear a path to get through. By the color of the sleeves I knew it was Dallas and I heard Adam call my name. So they were all following me. Good.

I finally reached the booth Becky was hiding behind and lunged forward, only to be caught and thrown backwards into Dallas by strong arms. "Stay away from my sister."

After I regained my balance I looked up and noticed that it was Luke standing before me and my anger escalated. I shoved him back and when Luke stepped forward to shove me again, Dallas pushed me behind him and took my place.

"Let her through," Dallas demanded.

"I don't think so." Luke spat at him.

Dallas laughed, "I wasn't asking." With that, Dallas grabbed Luke by his shirt collar and tossed him to the side like he was nothing. It was impressive.

Becky Baker stood behind her booth looking like a scared, wounded animal. If I had it my way and there was no booth between us that is exactly what she would be.

I gasped at the way my thoughts went. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the negative thoughts. That wasn't me, I don't think like that. I shook my head trying to clear it. I couldn't go back to that place, not again.

"Becky," I yelled over all the noise. "What are you doing?" I finally reached the desk and noticed that she kept fidgeting with her dress. So she was nervous, that was a good sign.

Once she took a look at Adam, her spine stiffened and she tilted her chin up, "I'm ridding this school of sin." Crazy girl just said what? "And I'm starting with Adam," she tilted her head and smiled. "I mean, Gracie."

"This isn't right! Who do you think you are? You are not God, Becky! You do not get to decide whether or not Adam should leave Degrassi. It doesn't matter how many signatures you get, Adam is not leaving Degrassi."

Becky shook her head, "You don't understand."

I laughed harshly, "Oh, I understand. You are too stuck in your ways to except that people are allowed to be different. If you really go by the Bible, then you are committing a sin right now. You are wearing two different types of fabrics." I crossed my arms and watched as Becky grew flustered. I take it that it is not an everyday occurrence that someone uses the Bible against Becky. This made me feel viciously happy.

"You are supposed to be Christian!" She accused.

"I am more Christian than you will ever be," I spat at her. "Unlike you, I can forgive. Unlike you, I can accept people who are different from me. Unlike you, I know when I am doing something wrong." I waved my arms around, "What you just caused here is not something to be proud of."

"I didn't want this!" Becky cried, trying to defend what she had done.

"This is what you get when you try to get someone kicked out of school, someone that basically everyone likes. Have you seen Adam's Twitter following?" I heard grumbles behind me, they all sounded like they were agreeing with me so I continued my lecture, "You, Becky, can't kick someone out of school!"

"No, that is my job." Principal Simpson said as he pushed through the students. "And this protest is over." Right then, police officers entered the hallway and started separating the students and telling them that it was time to go to class. Before long, it was just a handful of students in the hallway.

"Becky, go and wait for me in my office." Mr. Simpson sighed as he approached Officer Turner. I stood back with Dallas and Adam to give them privacy. I looked around and wondered where Drew ran off to.

I walked up to Mr. Simpson as soon as Officer Turner left. "This isn't right."

Mr. Simpson rolled his eyes. "Don't you think I know that? I have a lot to deal with at the moment, Clare. If you want to talk about this, come to my office at lunch." He turned away and began to walk but then stopped and looked at me, "Do you remember when you stood up against The Shep?" At my nod he continued, "Maybe…if you did something like that again…the students would listen to you more than they will listen to Becky." With that he stalked down the hallway, muttering about parents.

"Clare?" Eli asked from behind me. I spun around in shock and saw him standing with Alli next to Adam, Drew and Dallas. They were accompanied by Bianca who was standing with her arms crossed next to Drew, Katie and Jake who were snuggled next to each other, along with Maya and the other niners; Owen stood behind them. Just as I was about to say something, Fiona walked in with Imogen and Mo and Marisol.

"That was crazy." Marisol said once she joined us. "Please tell me we have a plan to stop her from taking over the school."

"Clare," Eli said again, gaining everyone's attention. "What was Principal Simpson talking about?"

Alli smirked and walked towards me, "Oh," She threw her arm around my shoulder. "We're just gonna take down the Bakers once and for all. Clare Edwards style."

**I know a lot of you are probably getting angry that Clare hasn't told everyone that she is sick yet. But the time wasn't right. Maybe she will tell Eli and Alli in the next chapter. I'm not sure…**

**Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six of Strength to Make it Through**

"Clare, this is Dr. Lee. I just wanted to let you know that I got in touch with my friend from the states and he has agreed to look at your charts, but it might take a couple of weeks before he can come to Toronto." I sighed as I listened to Dr. Lee's message. Does she honestly thing I can wait that long? And when she said 'a couple of' did she mean two weeks or more? "Call me back when you can. You need another checkup." With that, Dr. Lee hung up and I closed my eyes and felt tears well up behind my eye lids. Why do I need to go back to that dreadful hospital and get even worse news that I had before?

"Clare," Eli called, grabbing my attention. "We got the booths set up and are ready give out the ribbons."

I smiled. This morning I had left school after the huge mob fight and ate breakfast at the Dot with Eli, Adam, Alli and Dave. It WAS going to be just us until Bianca told Drew that she was hungry and the next thing I know, they were coming with us. I know that Bianca wanted to come to keep an eye on me and I ignored her for most of the breakfast.

Soon, I ignored everyone as I saw Emma walk into the Dot. I got up and gave her a hug and then made small talk until she asked me why I wasn't in school. So I told her about the fight as school and what happened with Becky. Emma reminded me of a story she told me a while back and I decided to make the 2012 version of her protest to kick Rick-the guy who put his girlfriend, Terri MacGregor, in a coma and is the reason she never came back to Degrassi-out of school.

When the gang and I got back to Degrassi and told Mr. Simpson what we planned to do, he looked a little proud and gave us an okay, but a warning to be careful because of the Bakers parents.

"Before we go over there, I just want to ask you, what Dallas is doing here?" Eli said with a glare at Dallas. Dallas smirked at Eli and I shook my head at him with a glare of my own.

"We…talked the other morning and we…apologized for the things we did to each other. Dallas and I are fine; it's just you that he has a problem with." I smiled at him sweetly. Eli rolled his eyes but smirked at me before he leaned down and kissed me.

We turned and walked towards everyone. They looked at us and smiled. I smiled back at them; everyone I know was there with the exception of Becky, Jenna and Luke. Tears came to my eyes as I looked at everyone. "This is amazing," I said, clearly in awe. I couldn't explain to them how much this meant to me. "Before we begin, I just want to let you know that we might…ummm," I fumbled with my words.

"Piss some people off," Bianca filled in for me.

I smiled gratefully at her, "Yes."

"It's okay Clare. We know from experience what some of your schemes get us into." Alli laughed looking at K.C. and Conner. I blushed.

"Okay, so maybe we went a little extreme with the Shep, but he had it coming!" I defended.

"Yeah, and it made you a legend. In the good sense, unlike the other niners: Backwoods, mother, father, and nerd." Owen said with a smirk. "It was also what drew Fitz's attention to you." Eli glared at Owen, but Owen just smiled back.

"Okay," I said breaking the tension. "I just wanted to thank you for this. It means a lot and I hope that our efforts really do change Degrassi." I looked at my watch and then smiled at everyone. "Will you guys go take your positions?" Everyone nodded and took off in their designated directions.

I walked behind the booth, taking one last look at the sign that said "Stop bullying, accept everyone." It wasn't the best slogan ever heard, but it was the only thing everyone could agree on with such little time. I also got Conner and K.C. to create and print out posters, and with the help of Drew and Adam to set them up around the school. Katie and Marisol are going to be handing out flyers in the Cafeteria. Also, there were other booths set up; Fiona and Imogen were running the booth in the west hall and Bianca and Owen were running the east hall, just in case students didn't see ours set up in the front of the school.

"This is going to be so much fun," Tori cried, clapping her hands. I smiled as Eli rolled his eyes and moved to stand beside me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. I smiled and leaned into him. Eli kissed my temple before stepping away. I pouted at him and he chuckled.

"We have company," Eli pointed to somewhere of my shoulder and I turned and saw a bunch of girls and athletes following Dallas towards the booth.

"This is Clare. She is the one who came up with the idea to start the protest." Most of the girls gave me dirty and I smiled back at them. "I personally don't want to be in a school where there is a bunch of bullying." Dallas said, giving most of the girls who glared at me a pointed look.

I chuckled as the girls looked down in shame. That's what you get, I thought viciously.

Dallas nodded at me; this was our signal for me to take over the reins. I cleared my throat to gain everyone's attention. They turned to look at me and I immediately felt stage fright. How was I supposed to get through this? Why were they looking at me like that?

"We don't want another thing like what happened with Rick Murry to happen again," I heard gasps go throughout the room and mumbles as soon as I mentioned his name. "Remember the victims of bullying: Jimmy Brooks, Emma Nelson, Toby Isaacs, Sean Cameron and Rick Murry himself. Rick brought the gun to school because he was constantly being made fun of and on one of the happiest days of his life, a group of student's spilt yellow paint and feathers all over him." I took a deep breath and watched as the crowd grew bigger.

"J.T. York was killed because of hate. Adam Torres was thrown through a window because of hate; Drew Torres was attacked by gang members because of HATE. Hate is what tears this world apart and I for one, am sick of it," I picked up one of the golden ribbons and clipped it on to my jacket. "This ribbon says what I can't put into words. I am against the violence, I am against the teasing, the singling out, the bullying." I saw Dallas and Eli both clip on one of the ribbons as well as Tori, Zig, Maya and Cam. Soon others began to clip on the golden ribbons. Tears of pride welled into my eyes.

"Keep going. More students just arrived." Eli whispered to me in encouragement.

"A friend told me once that we fear what we don't understand. That fear of the unknown turns to hate. It is so easy to hate something you don't understand." I smiled as I remembered Zane trying to explain to me why Riley wouldn't admit that he was gay. "Also, it is very hard to teach an old dog new tricks-but not impossible."

The crowd was getting bigger and bigger, "Becky Baker is scared of the unknown. Becky Baker is afraid of what she does not understand. People like Becky hide behind the Bible as a way to hate against others-others who have done absolutely nothing to them. If Becky REALLY wanted to rid this school of 'sin', then she should start with herself because today, Becky Baker did the ultimate sin. Today she created hate. I don't know about you, but I never want to see a fight like this morning to ever enter the halls of Degrassi-no, ever enter our lives again." Man, I was so worked up from my speech I was breathing heavily and my heart was racing. It took me a moment to actually hear the cheering and the applause. Soon everyone was grabbing ribbons and Dallas, Eli and I had to constantly remind them that there were other booths to get the golden ribbons from.

"You did it," Alli cried as she ran towards our booth with Bianca, Katie and Marisol in toe. They were all smiling at me and I could see tears in their eyes. If they started crying, there is no way I would be able to hold my own tears.

"That was a beautiful speech, Clare." Katie stated with pride. I smiled at her and returned her hug.

"I'm just glad I stayed here and was able to get it all on camera," Tristan cheered happily. He was tapping me? Ugh, I'm so glad that I didn't know I was being recorded or I wouldn't have been able to go through with it. Tristan smiled at Katie and Marisol, "Shall we show this to the whole school?" Katie and Marisol smirked at each other before they raced off to the student council room with the niners following.

"Clare," Bianca whispered next to me. I turned and looked into her concerned eyes. "You need to take your medicine." She handed me a granola bar and a Gatorade. I looked around to see if anyone was watching us, but they were all too busy talking about Becky's reaction.

I rolled my eyes but nodded. "Yes dear," I said in a fake obedient voice. Bianca smiled at me and crossed her arms. Great, she was going to watch me as I ate and took my medicine.

Dr. Lee would be proud.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven of Strength to Make it Through**

"Clare!"

"Alli!"

Principle Simpson called from his office. He sounds angry. If I were in his position, I would be furious as well. But this was one of those calm angry's that my father usually gets when me or my sister, Darcy, did something wrong and he was trying REALLY hard not to yell. Like when Darcy started dating Peter after he was to one who introduced her to the thirty year old man on the internet and then the man became her stalker. He looked like he was going to blow a gasket. At the time, I kind of wished he had. But my mom was the one who interfered and came up with the whole, "let's bring him to dinner" thing. Next thing I knew, Peter was their favorite person. And I must admit, after a few weeks, he grew on me too.

I looked at Alli and watched as she stood up and put on her 'brave face' as I like to call it. I've seen that face many times: When she went to ask Johnny out, when she confronted Drew about his cheating, when she left Degrassi to go to the all-girls school, when she decided that she was going to take a chance on Dave, when she thought she was pregnant. But in this instance, I could relate to her since I would be putting on the same face in about thirty seconds. Alli turned and nodded at me and I was able to see her cut lip and the angry bruise forming on the side of her mouth. Alli took a deep breath, pushed her shoulders back, and walked-limped- to Mr. Simpson's office in a broken heal.

Me, on the other hand, I was not so brave. Instead, I would say-as I have before-that I am a coward. I run from my problems, I try to hide them, and I most defiantly wait to tell someone about them. When it came to helping a friend with their problems, I was the first to step forward; as soon as it was MY problem, I was the first to run and hide. But I knew that there was no way that I would be getting out of this without telling my side of the story. So I took a page out of Alli's book and pushed my shoulders back and walked towards Mr. Simpson's office. From the look of surprise on his face, I knew I didn't look too good. I knew I had a large red hand print across my left cheek and a sprained wrist that I had been rubbing for the past ten minutes. Also, the back of my head was killing me and I could feel a huge headache coming on.

I hesitantly stepped into his office and shut the door behind me. I felt that if I were about to be yelled at, the fewer witnesses that heard, the better. As I took my seat, I was careful not to look him in the eyes; I wouldn't be able to take his disapproval right now. Not when I was about to get suspended, or worse, expelled from Degrassi.

"Okay," Simpson said. "Who would like to start?" Alli and I looked at each other, then at the floor. We honestly didn't want to say anything. This moment would jeopardize everything for Alli. She had early acceptance into MIT and this could-would-give her a major set-back if he suspended us. I didn't even want to know what would happen if she was expelled.

Simpson sighed, "I already heard from Jenna, Adam and Bianca. All I want to know is your side of the story." Simpson was talking to us like we were four year old children. In this moment, I'm sure that Alli would agree that we feel like four year old children.

Alli cleared her throat, "We started the protests. And everything was going extremely well." I nodded in agreement. "Like…everyone is wearing a ribbon now." Alli smiled in satisfaction. I giggled and Mr. Simpson had to clear his throat obnoxiously to gain our attention. Alli nodded, "Anyways, we were cutting more ribbons with Adam and Bianca...for…some odd…reason." She paused. "I have no idea why Bianca is all 'buddy, buddy' with us now-but that doesn't matter. What matters was as that she was there. Then, all of a sudden, Jenna came flying around the corner at us like a crazy woman."

Simpson looked at Alli for a moment, and then focused his sharp blue eyes on me. "Is that what happened?"

I nodded feeling slightly light headed. "Jenna was yelling at us saying that what we are doing 'isn't right' and that we needed to stop the protest immediately. Bianca told her to take a hike-in a not so nice way. Then Jenna got even angrier."

**Flashback:**

"_Seriously? Do you honestly thing I'm going to listen to you?" Jenna spat out at Bianca._

_Bianca tightens her grip on her scissors and I grew a little bit concerned. "I would if I were you," Bianca threatened. I was becoming increasingly nervous with Bianca holding scissors while in an altercation. When I saw that her knuckles were turning white, I reached over and pried the scissors from her hands._

"_Look, Jenna, I don't see why you're so upset. I thought you would be happy that we are trying to stop the violence and the bullying in school." Alli told her friend and roommate softly._

"_I am trying to stop it. Which is why, you need to stop with your protest against Becky. She has done nothing to you."_

_I looked at her incredulously and pointed at Adam who raised his hand, "She tried to kick me out of Degrassi this morning." Adam reminded her. I rolled my eyes, like she could have possibly missed it._

_Jenna rolled her eyes and huffed, "Becky and I are trying to rid the school of sinners. Adam, you commit the biggest sin of all. You aren't happy with yourself. You need to learn to accept yourself the way that God made you."_

_I cut her off, "Adam has accepted himself. And he is happy. You just don't see it because how could someone possibly be happy when others are consistently trying to change who they are. It's everyone else who needs to learn to accept him."_

_Jenna glared at me, "You are supposed to be Christian!" Alli and I laughed at her. This was the second time I had heard that fraise today and it was starting to make me mad. _

"_That's rich coming from the girl who hasn't even been Christian a full month," Alli barked, crossing her arms. "And, you did it all for a boy."_

_Bianca laughed, "You seriously changed that much for a guy? Man, and just when I thought you couldn't fall any father." She shook her head, still laughing._

"_I didn't do it for a boy!"_

_We all nodded at her in fake agreement. "Sure," Alli said. "I find it convenient that you decided to turn Christian right after Luke told you that you couldn't be together because you are a 'temptation'."_

"_You know, I don't know how anyone could find you tempting at all." Bianca said in disgust. Okay, I admit, that was a funny come back. But it was also hurtful and I could see that it hurt Jenna._

"_Look, we're sorry. We didn't mean for this to get out of hand. Jenna, we are not stopping this protest. As a matter of fact, were moving it to the Dot where people can pick up a ribbon there too. It's not right to bully someone out of school."_

_Jenna looked at me pleadingly, "Don't you see what we are trying to do? If we get rid of sin, then there is nothing to be bullied about. If everyone is the same, then there will be no picking-on-the-little-guy."_

"_That doesn't make any sense." Adam said, "We are all different. And getting rid of me won't change anything. There are still going to be the Jocks that like to pick on the Nerds. There are still going to be the…people like Bianca and Owen that make fun of…everyone. There are always going to be the Cheerleaders that stick up their noses to everyone. Getting rid of me won't change that._

"_Don't you think that Becky and I thought of that? You were just our first step. We have plans, and now you are ruining them."_

_Bianca looked at her in disgust, "Who gave you the right to TRY and kick someone out of school?"_

_Jenna rounded on her, "Who gave you the right to throw someone through a window?"_

_I grabbed Bianca's arm and yanked her back as I saw her move towards Jenna in a menacing way. A part of me would LOVE to watch Jenna get what she dissevered, but that would defeat the purpose of today's petition._

_I faced Bianca and pointed to her ribbon, "We are here to STOP violence, not create it." I reminded her with a hiss. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, but she didn't make another advance to Jenna. Score one for Clare, I cheered in my head._

_Jenna snorted, "You honestly think this will stop violence? Everyone wearing ribbons?" Jenna picked up one of the said ribbons with her pointer finger and thumb and held it away from her like it was really a poppy diaper, rather than a harmless ribbon. "If anything, it will start more violence."_

"_I don't believe that," I told her confidently. "I believe our student body would like to stop bullying just as much as I do, because we have all been subjected to it." I paused for a moment. "Even you, Jenna, at one time, were a victim of bullying. But mostly, you were the one who was doing the bullying. Remember all the put downs to Dave in grade nine? Or how in grade ten you spread the rumor that I got a boob job when I really got laser eye surgery? Let's not forget about how you got into a confrontation with Holly J WHILE you were pregnant. But…that's not bullying is it? The only time you were bullied was by the cheer squad when you were taking laxatives because you were being teased by your 'friends'."_

"_Spirit Squad! And I don't even know how you knew about that!" Alli and I smirked at each other._

"_We tell each other everything." Alli said proudly. I had to swallow the feeling of guilt in my throat and pretend I didn't see the pointed looks that Bianca tossed my way._

"_Alright, it's not like any of you are perfect." Jenna tried to defend herself. She pointed at Bianca. "You are worse than them all."_

"_Why, because I'm not fake or subject myself to be someone I'm not?" Bianca shot back. If that wasn't a good came back, I would have wanted her to keep her mouth closed. No, I still wished she kept her mouth closed when I saw Jenna's nasty glare._

"_And you," she rounded on Alli. "You have quit the reputation, Backwoods." Alli's mouth fell open. So did the rest of ours. "Or should I say Boiler-room?"_

"_HEY!" Bianca and I both yelled. I was surprised that Bianca said anything since she had just called Alli Backwoods yesterday. "Leave her alone, baby momma." Bianca continued._

_Jenna laughed humorously, "Sure thing, Boyfriend stealer."_

_I laughed this time, "That's comical coming from you, of all people. You were the one who stole K.C. from me."_

_Alli nodded, "What makes it worse is that you pretended to be friends with Clare, and THEN stabbed the knife in her back."_

_Bianca nodded, "Some friend you are."_

_Jenna glared at her, seething. "Coming from a girl would doesn't have any friends."_

"_I'm her friend," Adam, who had been quiet so far, said quietly._

"_So am I," I told everyone. They all looked at me surprised, even Bianca. But I could see the happiness in her eyes. "At one point, I was your friend too," I reminded her._

_Jenna glared at me, "You are going to hell!" She yelled._

"_No," Alli told her calmly. "You are."_

_That was when things became crazy. I remember Jenna lunging at Alli and Adam trying to stop her, but she was too fast. She and Alli fell to the ground-where she broke her heal-and proceeded to pounce on her. Jenna got in one good hit to Alli before Bianca and I hauled her off of Alli-who was holding her bloody lip. Jenna got her arm loose from Bianca and swung around towards me and slapped me across the face so hard I tumbled into Adam and saw stars for a moment. Adam helped me stand and went to help Bianca who had Jenna in an arm lock. _

_I walked over to Alli and helped her stand and then tried to help Adam and Bianca clam down what looked like an irate animal howling at us in the hallway. This was gaining the attention of…everyone who still lingered in the hallway. At this point, I was still dizzy and was excited when I heard people coming our way._

_Bianca made the mistake of lightening her grip on Jenna when she heard other people approaching and Jenna was able to break free. I swear that it looked like a beast ripping free of its restraints. Then, all of a sudden, she lunged at me and tackled me to the floor. Jenna had her knees on my chest and my head made contact with the floor. Hard. I shook my head to clear my vision just in time to see Jenna's fist coming towards my face. I acted on instinct. My hand grabbed her forearm, keeping it away from me. I brought my right hand up and punched her in the face as hard as I could in my position and felt something in my wrist 'pop', just as hands came forward and hauled Jenna off of me._

**End Flashback.**

"After that, we were not allowed to go to the nurses because Officer Turner had to take our statements and then after that, you asked to see us in your office." Alli said as she crossed her arms.

Mr. Simpson looked between Alli and I few times before he nodded and turned off the voice recorder that I didn't know was on. That was the second time I had been taped without my knowing. "I am going to review that video tapes of the hallway security cameras we had installed and see whose story matches up. If I find out that you initiated the fight, you will be suspended for ten days. If you are telling the truth, you will be serving a month's detention. Got it?" We nodded at him. "You may go to the nurses now."

Alli and I left his office and walked silently down the hall. We both let out the breaths that we had been holding and smiled at each other as we made our way to the nurse's office.

"Clare?" I turned at the sound of Ms. Oh's voice. She and Officer Turner were walking up to me and they did not look happy. Was it because of the fight? I was protecting myself!

"Clare," Ms. Oh said again as she walked up to Alli and I. "There is something Officer Turner and I need to speak to you about." She told me with sad eyes. Officer Turner didn't look pleased either.

"Okay," I said looking back at Alli. "I'll catch up with you in a minute." I said feeling scared and wanting nothing but for her to stay with me. She nodded at me with concerned eyes and met up with our gang who were waiting for us outside the nurse's office. I caught sight of Eli. He was looking at me with the same concern that Alli had in her eyes. I forced myself to smile, but he didn't smile back.

I turned back to the two adults standing before me, "What do you need to talk to me about?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"I just found out that they-the police department-are releasing Asher Shostak on bail." Officer Turner said sadly.

I blinked at him, trying to understand what he was saying. "But, Asher is supposed to being in jail until trial." I whispered in disbelief.

"The judge handling the case looked at his file again and said that he was no flight risk or threat to you or any of the other girls coming forward." Ms. Oh filled in.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I fully comprehended what was happening. "But, what about the letter he wrote me? The one that said that I was going to pay for what I was doing to him? That was the reason he wasn't granted bail in the first place!"

"The judge said that there is no evidence that it was Asher who sent the letter to you since it was typed and printed. There was no signature. Until the evidence lab calls and tells us that there were traces of Asher's DNA on the letter or envelope, then he's free." Turner filled in for me. I had watched enough crime shows to know what he was talking about. I also knew that they could also look on his laptop and work computer to see if he had typed the letter if there was no DNA.

But that wasn't what concerned me at the moment. "So the people who encouraged me to go to the police are telling me that Asher-the man who sexually harassed me-is getting out on bail?"

Officer Turner stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on my arm, "If you honestly think his threat was real," I nodded my head in affirmative and he closed he eyes and sighed and Ms. Oh gasped.

"I ruined his life. We took everything away from him: his job, freedom, reputation." I reminded them, "Of course he would want revenge."

Officer Turner nodded and looked me in the eyes. "Then I promise that I will do everything in my power to protect you."

**Had to bring Asher in and make him a bad guy. I liked him in the beginning, when he was just the mentor. Then he did all that SH*T to Clare and I hate him…a lot!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight of Strength to Make it Through**

"So what did Ms. Oh need to talk to you about with Officer Turner?" Eli asked as we sat down at a bench in the park. We had just got out of the hospital. The nurse convinced everyone that I needed to go and get my head checked out to make sure that I didn't have a concussion. Dr. Lee was excited to see me for my check-up. Now, I will admit, I'm not proud of what I did. As a matter of fact, I try not to do this at all, but in the end: I lied to her. I told her that I had to go back to school for a big class project and I needed to leave as soon as possible. So, the only thing that got checked out was my head injury and she put me in a wrist brace.

So far, I had been able to keep Eli from thinking about the talk I had with Ms. Oh. He was really worried about me, I knew. But I like to live in denial. I like to convince myself that Eli didn't see me walk into the girl's bathroom and stay in it for twenty minutes crying to Katie and Alli about the conversation that I just had with the two adults that convinced me to go to the police in the first place.

_Alli and Katie were able to calm me down and convince me that this was not the worst thing that could happen. "Officer Turner said that he would protect you." Alli reminded me._

_Katie nodded, "Yeah, and we're here for you too. You know that Eli won't let anything happen to you. And Jake will be at home to protect you."_

_I sighed and looked at them. "What happens when I'm alone? What about when there is no one there to protect me?" I was getting hysterical. I knew I was, but I was freaking out. I had felt safe when I knew Asher was behind bars and couldn't hurt me. Now that he was out, I had all these horrible thoughts running through my head about what Asher meant when he said 'you're going to pay for this'._

"_Clare, you will have police officers following you. They know what Asher looks like, they will protect you. And as for being alone: you don't need to worry, you will never be left alone again." The way Alli said the last sentence didn't reassure me; it made me feel…wrong._

_Katie must have seen my discomfort…or might have been uncomfortable herself, because she said, "What Alli meant was, where ever you go, a friend will be there too."_

_I nodded. I could see it; maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But, as always, I still felt nervous. And I was scared of Asher, of what he might do to me._

I looked at Eli, noticing for the first time that I had zoned out on him for a minute there. I smiled nervously at him and said, "Don't get mad okay?"

Eli looked at me with a raised eye-brow and a cautious look, "I will try."

I sighed and looked down, I know that this was as good as I was going to get. Eli knew better than to promise me something he wasn't sure he could really do. "Asher is out of jail." I said softly hoping that maybe he didn't hear me.

But he did; Eli had gotten used to me and knew that when I didn't want to tell him something I would talk really softly. He had gotten used to it and could now understand me whenever I did it. I loved him for it, but at the same time I wished he couldn't read me-or hear me-so well sometimes.

"What do you mean Asher is out of jail?" Eli asked softly. This wasn't good. This was the voice Principle Simpson used earlier in his office. Eli was MAD.

I swallowed. "The judge looked at his file and said that he is not a flight risk and doesn't see him as a threat."

Eli looked at me in astonishment, "He wrote you a note threatening you. I would deem that as a threat."

"The judge said that it might not have been Asher who wrote it. It was typed from a computer, it wasn't signed. There is no hard evidence at the moment."

Eli stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't believe this." He began to pace in front of me. I knew he would be angry, I had just hoped that he wouldn't be this angry. I knew that this was nowhere near how he would have acted if this had happened last year. For that, I was grateful. And I KNOW he deserves to know about my cancer too, but I think it's best if we take things one at a time. There is going to be time later…I hope.

"Eli, it's not a big deal. There is a police car right across the street. I'm safe and the forensic lab is doing everything they can to see where the letter was typed at. They already ruled out my computer, my parents, yours, and Alli's. Soon, they are going to rule out completely that I wrote the note and have that argument thrown out."

"This is not okay, Clare. This guy SEXUALLY HARRASED you and other interns. You were only sixteen at the time. A minor…and you still are a minor. Asher deserves to sit it a jail-cell for the rest of his life. Asher deserves to be in jail population with the inmates knowing that he sexually harassed little girls. Do you know that they do to men like that in jail? Do you know what those guys would do to him if he was found guilty and sent to prison?" Eli asked as he continued to pace back and forth.

I sighed, "Yes, Eli, I know. I watch The Closer." I pointed out to him. I can proudly state that I have seen every episode of that show and Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson got better and better with every conviction. I've seen other cop shows too, like NCIS, Rookie Blue, and Criminal Minds.

Eli sighed and sat next to me. He ran a hand over his face and then turned to look at me. I smiled sadly at him and he took my hands. "I just…felt better knowing that Asher was locked up and couldn't hurt you," Eli confessed.

I closed my eyes and rest my forehead against his. "I did too." He sighed heavily and I knew that he was finally beginning to calm down. "If it makes you feel any better, I like the fact that I have my very own body guard's watching out for me."

Eli laughed and pulled back, "It doesn't. But if you feel better, then I can accept that."

"Good because I am starving." I wasn't hungry at all. The only reason I even remembered that it was time to eat was because Bianca 'kindly' texted me and told me that it was dinner time and I needed to eat at _Little Miss Stakes_. Like I was a child or something; she was really starting to get on my last nerve with all her hovering. But, it was also sweet that she was thinking of me. It made me feel better.

Eli smiled. This was a real one, not the fake ones I've been seeing so often. "Nice change in topic."

My eyes grew big and I placed a hand on my chest dramatically, "Me?" I asked looking around as if to make sure that he was really talking to me, "I would never change the topic." Eli laughed with me for a moment before I grew serious again. "I know you're scared. I am too. But, knowing that there is a police officer following-"

"Stalking," Eli cut in.

"Me," I continued like he didn't interrupt. "I feel better. PLUS, I have you. My huge, muscle bound boyfriend that will knock the chocolates right out of people."

Eli shook his head and groaned, "Please stop trying to quote movies. PLEASE!" He begged. I laughed and hit him in the arm. I wasn't THAT bad. "And by the way, I have muscle. I have a runner's body; even if I wanted to, I couldn't get all beefy."

I smiled at him and nodded, "I love you just the way you are. I don't need a huge beefy guy. I just need a guy who will be there for me, protect me, and love me. All I need is you."

We smiled lovingly at each other and we kissed, right there on the bench where anyone could see us and I didn't care. "Just so you know: it didn't go unnoticed to me that you said the names of two different songs in that little speech of yours." I laughed as I punched him lightly in the arm. "But I have to admit, I loved it any way."

"Good," I said and kissed him again. Man, I could kiss him forever. His lips were so soft, and I loved running my fingers through his hair, even after he cut it. Eli was an amazing kisser; I would give him a gold metal if I didn't think it would go to his head and the world would never live it down. I've kissed a few guys but I have never felt anything when I kissed them, not the way I do when I kiss Eli.

Eli Goldsworthy gives me butterflies just by walking into a room. He makes me blush with a few words or a raised eye-brow. Eli makes my heart beat ten times faster by just giving me a hug. When he smirks at me, my stomach does this topsy-turvy thing. And when Eli tells me he loves me, my heart stops and then starts back up again in what seems like the same moment.

I love him. I love him more than I thought I could ever love anyone. And I know that he loves me too. I know that he loves me just as much as I love him by the way he looks at me, the many times he tells me he loves me, the fact that he is always there for me. I love Eli Goldsworthy and he loves me, Clare Edwards.

"So where do you want to eat?" Eli asked as we pulled back.

I was about to answer when I felt another text message. I pulled it out of my pocket and opened it. It was from Bianca, _"Stop sucking face and join me. This weird guy keeps looking at me."_

Eli laughed as he read the message over my shoulder. "I don't know how you guys started to talking, but she does bring…something to the group." I laughed at his remark and let him help me up when he offered his hand.

"You won't believe me if I told you." I told him truthfully. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.

"Will you answer my question truthfully, because I've been nice all day, but it is killing me?" I looked at him curiously. "What is Dallas doing hanging out with us?"

I smiled at him, "He and I talked yesterday and we're fine. Now you and him," I shrugged at him letting him fill in the blank.

"So I still have a problem with him?"

"You have to resolve your own issues with him." I nodded at him as we turned the corner that would lead us to the restaurant. "Plus he helped me out yesterday in the angry mob."

"Yeah, Adam told me about that." Eli said begrudgingly.

"See, he's not that bad."

He rolled his eyes and opened the door for me to walk in. I smiled at him and walked in before him. When I entered the dining-room I froze and stared at the man standing before me. Eli came in behind me and bumped into me. He caught me before I could stumble very far. I could tell by the way he was tensed up as well, that he was looking at the same man as I was.

"Asher," I whispered. Asher turned to look in my direction and when he saw me, he smiled.

**END! **

**Just kidding! This is only the end of the chapter. We have more to go.**


End file.
